this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
our cab driver is having phone sex.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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