I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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