Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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