Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
