But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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