I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
3pm strippers are depressing
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
