stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
