I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
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