Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
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