yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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