Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
don't judge my taste in strippers
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Randomize
