I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
