you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
