I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
