One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
