i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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