actually, I'm a sock model
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
