Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
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