I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
