your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
