dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Randomize
