why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
