Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
