Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Randomize