Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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