I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
