If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
