You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize