Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Randomize
