i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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