pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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