nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
