UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
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