i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
