You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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