i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
