he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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