im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
