Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
