i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
