Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
