i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
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