Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I need to wash the frat house off of me
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
