If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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