Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
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