Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
