who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
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