oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
