u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
