did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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