While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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