how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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