Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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