By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
