3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
