OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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