redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
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