giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
