Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
