ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
