There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Too much gin, very little bucket
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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